New Kids On The Ed: Aaron
by Legacy of the Phoenix
Summary: The Eds seek out Edd's cousin for answers to an enigma, but the latter's complex behavior frustrates things. The Gourd takes the next step towards his sinister plans for the cul-de-sacs. Ed Edd n Eddy created by Danny Antonucci.


At **Park n Flush**, The Eds, armed with "Canadian squirt guns", hide behind a bush and uneasily stare at the Kankers' trailer, intent on retrieving the hypnotizing wheel that they believe the sisters stole from their time capsule based on intel from Edd's cousin. Edd himself uses his body-heat-seeking goggles to observe the trailer's interior, but finds no one inside.

"The trailer is vacant, gentlemen." Edd reveals.

"Bacon gives my Dad gas." Ed grins.

"Then, that's it. That's everywhere. If they ain't at home, where could they be?" Eddy wonders.

"A valid question." Edd holds his finger up, "And I believe the one who holds the equally valid answer might be the one who set us on this path to begin with. Shall we?"

"I dunno, Double D." Eddy shrugs in hesitance. "That cousin of yers might in one of his moods."

"He is always in said moods, Eddy." Edd reminds. "We should simply hope that he is in a more docile, tolerable one."

Chomp! Ed begins to eat four slices of raw bacon to his friends' confusion, "Mmm! Bacon!"

Eddy yanks Ed out of our sight as he follows Edd.

* * *

At the home of Edd's cousin, the three boys await his presence as they sit in the living room. The former steps out of his silhouetted self to reveal his true self as a boy of similar height and skin-tone as Edd, but with a dark-red tongue, dusty blonde hair, a blue T-shirt, a brown jacket, blue jeans, and brown sneakers.

"Salutations yet again, Aaron." Edd begins. "Am I correct to assume that your demeanor of the day is one of calmness and patience?"

"Patience?!" Aaron barks with his Boston accent. "Lemme tell ya about Patience, coz! She ain't woth nothin'! Can't believe I thought she was a sweethaht! She ain't nothin' but gahbage! Just like half the gihls back in Behry Lake!"

"Great. He's mad." Eddy mumbles to himself, rolling his eyes.

Aaron has continued his tirade for three hours and the Eds have sat through it all. Eddy has his head on his palm as he tries to keep himself from falling asleep. Ed is asleep with bacon stuck in his nose. As per usual, Edd endures his cousin's verbal venting with a patient mindset and faux smile.

* * *

The following day, the Eds try again and return to Aaron's house. Unfortunately, the circumstances are nearly the same as they were yesterday. Only Aaron is not necessarily angry. Merely unpleasant.

"I once tried pancakes with perfume!" Ed blurts.

"Yeah, whoopdie-flippin-do!" Aaron replies.

"You done getting crud off your chest, or can we talk now?" Eddy patiently, though sternly remarks.

"Yeah. Let's talk about that neckless mug of yehs." Aaron sniffs.

"Aaron!" Edd scolds his cousin.

"What's with the hat, 3D?" Aaron replies. "Can smell it from here. Only gihls use that much soap. Remember they used to tell you that back at Behry Lake?"

"All right, look…" Eddy interrupts.

"Look nothin', three-haihs. You listen." Aaron remarks coldly. "When me and 3D ah talkin', yeh not. You and chinless are wateh. Weh blood. Weh thickeh. Got me?"

Eddy sighs in annoyance, but knows that he must endure.

* * *

The following day, only Edd is understandably present at his cousin's home, as Eddy has planted a paper-mâché version of himself next to Edd while Ed has placed a cardboard cutout version of himself next to Eddy's version. Unsurprisingly, Ed's is soggy from gravy being spilled on it. Edd reads a magazine titled,_ Tomorrow's Explorers_, as he awaits his cousin; taking an interval from the electronics.

Aaron is in the garage flirting with a silhouette girl with air hearts surrounding her. He jots down her number and grins,

"Don't worry about it, sweethaht. Ride's all taken care of." Aaron winks at her, causing her to happily faint. He snaps his fingers before two robots made from trash cans and lumber grab and carry the girl out.

* * *

The next day, Aaron is finally, even if temporarily, in a state where he is proper and reserved. All three Eds are present, but Ed is distracted by his portable PSP…again.

"Well, boys. Those Kankeh gihls were theh the day I told you what I saw." Aaron shrugs, "I'd say somethin' happened to em, but before I do, I gotta know somethin'. Have they been theh since that day you didn't see 'em?"

"No." Eddy grins. "Guess that means somethin' happened to 'em."

"Not just a guess." Aaron shows the Eds an uprooted shrub with a large camera lens extending from it, surprising Edd and Eddy. "Right behind their traileh. Someone's been watchin' 'em for at least a week and a half before you showed up. And they'he not the only ones."

In his basement, Aaron has the shocked Edd and Eddy bear witness to the footage contained within twelve other shrub-covered cameras: surveillance of everyone they know from the first to the second cul-de-sac. Well, almost everyone.

"Whateveh wise guy or gal cooked this up, tried to do this with me, but didn't know that tech was my thing." Aaron explains.

"This is creepier than some of those flicks Ed made us watch." Eddy notices something and asks Edd. "Know who I don't see? Besides Aaron?"

"Jonny." Edd solemnly realizes. "The use of domestic flora to conceal the equipment makes it abundantly clear. What isn't clear is what on Earth he is doing?"

* * *

The Gourd and Timber, for obvious reasons, see only static on their big screen. "Double D's meddlesome cousin has only postponed the inevitable, Timber. After all, we have one of two crucial pieces to our plan to alter the cul-de-sacs forever."

Holding the hypnotizing wheel in his hand, The Gourd chuckles diabolically as May, Marie, and Lee; the hair in front of her eyes being shaved; walk up behind him and Timber with vacant expressions, now being under his thrall.

* * *

**Trivia: 3D is Aaron's nickname for Edd, as he has three Ds in his name. Eddward.**


End file.
